Am I living in denial? I told everyone of how it doesn't effects me but truth to be told it does. It really does effects me. I know its ridiculous but maybe because its just the "in the moment" thing.
Although I look so fine but I just can't get it off my head. Its like a disease that stuck in my mind. Like a tumor in my brain. I know how risky it is. I know what I'm facing is gonna a huge effects to me one day but still I don't want to let it go.
People kept telling me the same thing. They kept reminding me of the consequences that I might face later. I know. In fact, I do feel the the awkwardness right now. I admit it that I do feel the urge of wanting more but I know its useless.
I know what I'm dealing now ain't easy. I know how complicated it is. But god knows why I'm convincing myself that everything is going to be okay. I should stop thinking about it but I can't. I'm weak. I think about it everyday.
Now I'm confused. Literally don't know where do I stand in this situation. The past have thought me so much. Rejection is really the pain in the ass. Probably I should just see where is this taking me. I should hide my feelings. I should not lose my guarded heart.
I can't afford to feel the pain. And I know how the end will be already. I should prepare to accept the worst.
LATER~
Although I look so fine but I just can't get it off my head. Its like a disease that stuck in my mind. Like a tumor in my brain. I know how risky it is. I know what I'm facing is gonna a huge effects to me one day but still I don't want to let it go.
People kept telling me the same thing. They kept reminding me of the consequences that I might face later. I know. In fact, I do feel the the awkwardness right now. I admit it that I do feel the urge of wanting more but I know its useless.
I know what I'm dealing now ain't easy. I know how complicated it is. But god knows why I'm convincing myself that everything is going to be okay. I should stop thinking about it but I can't. I'm weak. I think about it everyday.
Now I'm confused. Literally don't know where do I stand in this situation. The past have thought me so much. Rejection is really the pain in the ass. Probably I should just see where is this taking me. I should hide my feelings. I should not lose my guarded heart.
I can't afford to feel the pain. And I know how the end will be already. I should prepare to accept the worst.
LATER~
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