all of a sudden

My birthday is coming up. 3rd september. yes i'm turning 21 this year. i'm so not excited for this year birthday. perhaps maybe i don't really have anyone to celebrate it with. usually i'll be at my rented house and my friends will make a small gathering for me or maybe a surprise birthday for me. this year probably not gonna happen. i'll be celebrating it with my family by having a small dinner at a restaurant or something. my friends are all busy and don't want to bother them and i dont actually expecting something. wishes are all that matters to me. no kidding. im not trying to make me sound so humble or anything but yeah as long as you remember my birthday then its fine by me.

Idk but i think it will be nice to celebrate it with the one i love. ya know like 2 3 years ago i've always celebrate it with someone who i loved. ya know what i mean here. so i think it would be nice to have that warmth feelings again though. perhaps i want something different for my birthday wish this year? haha. hey at least i'm ready to move on right? that's what most of you wanna hear right? its been a freaking 10 months already people. i'm trying to make it a year then i'll hunt for the right one. hopefully YANG MAHA ESA will granted my wish.

i have 3 days left to enjoy being 20. JOY! btw, thanks to yayang for mentioning my birthday at her new post. mane tau neh birthday i nak menjelma? malu auw? haha.(PUKE). wanna say a special thank you for my sistah for giving me money to buy me self a PUMA 917 for my birthday. Mama next is you. i want something other than hugs and kisses ok? haha. JOKING ma. i'm expecting a loads of wishes from all you okay? thats all i want this year.(tak malu) LATER~

change

maybe just maybe i would like everything to change like it was. where everyone is happy. where we all share our laughter and lend our shoulder to lean on during tough times. or maybe i was the one who have changed? idk. i think i've changed a lot since march. probably getting myself grounded was a good thing after all. i've been going through a lot. truthfully i missed my friends. if you read this you know who you are. the one i barely speak right now. i know you have chosen your own path and i have mine. or maybe i've changed to someone totally boring till make you wanna ditch me or something. idk. but seriously i missed you.

from the bottom of my heart i would really want everything to remain the same as it was. i thought i would never gonna facing this matter again. but this is tougher for me cause as i know i didn't do anything wrong. its not like it was when i fought with my (ex) friends i know there's an issue there. but with ya'll i didn't know whether i did anything or ya'll just couldn't take it and make a decision to ditch me. if that's it then i'm fine with it. i won't force nor post anything annoying like this anymore. i'm letting go of my ego just to show how much i care. you know how ego i am. how i never admit anything. but now i do. i miss you. period. LATER~

Fullhouse

I went out with my girls and one dude. haha. I've never been to full house before. the place was awesome. i love the interior. the foods and beverage was delicious. price was okay. affordable.

I had a great time yesterday with them. R thanks for the cute slices of cakes u bought. very thoughtful of you honey. i cant see you on my upcoming birthday. appreciate it much.

Thanks for seeing me before i leave Malaysia darls. hope to see you guys soon aite? Later.

hope you find it

These clouds aren't going nowhere, baby
Rain keeps coming down
I just thought I'd try to call you, baby
For you got too far outta town
And I hope that you get this message that I'm leaving for you
'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to

And I hope you find it,
What you're looking for
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be
And so much more

And I hope you're happy, wherever you are
I wanted you to know that
And nothing's gonna change that
And I hope you find it

Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever?
Last words that I said
But that was nothing but a broken heart talkin', baby
You know that's not what I meant
Call me up, let me know that you got this message that I'm leaving for you
'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to

And I hope you find it,
What you're looking for
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be
And so much more

And I hope you're happy, wherever you are
I wanted you to know that
And nothing's gonna change that
And I hope you find it
Whatever it is out there that you were missing here

And I hope you find it,
What you're looking you
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be
And so much more

And I hope you're happy wherever you are
I wanted you to know that
And nothing's gonna change that
No, no, no
And I hope you find it
I hope you find it
Mmm,
Ooh.

predictable

bila nak tu bukan main lagi janji beliau. sanggup tunggu untuk hati ni terbuka untuk menerima dia. text call bagai nak rak bile time suke tu. bukan main lagi. bile lama2 haprak pun tade. predictable betol laki ni. sumpah buat aku rase nak gelak. sebab ni kali ke berapa tah menda cani jadi lagi. sib baik this time aku tak attached ngn dia. so mcm tak la terasa sangat.

next time kalau ade orang cakap the same ayat mmg aku gelak jela. lepas tu leh expect ape akan jadi next step nye. kalau mcm ni berterusan mmg betol la ckp membe2 aku. aku kena mandi bunge hilang bala. haha. badi kau tak hilang dari badan aku ke weh? tolong la sumpahan kau tu hilang cepat. haha. kalau idok membujang lama la aku gamaknye. suruh mak aku jodoh kan je nnt. hihi. LATER~

terabai

sebenarnya aku rase kena rejek tu bukan menda paling sakit la dalam hidup ni.aku rase di abaikan atau tidak di anggap penting tu la menda paling sakit dalam dunia ni.ntah kenapa aku terasa sgt sejak dua menjak ni.terasa seperti di abaikan.terasa mcm tak penting bagi mereka yg bernama kawan.sorry la kalau ada yang sentap dengan entry aku kali ni.

tp yelah kan?blog ni tempat meluahkan perasaan bak kate stalker aku dlm formspring tu kan?mmg aku akan gune kan ayat kau sampai mampos.ntah kenapa aku sensitive lak skg ni.maybe aku terlalu byk berfikir kot?

bukan ape dulu selalu rajin contct sekarang jgn ckp la.senyap je kot.aku rase balik2 aku msg and mengadu kat org yg sama je.ntahla maybe aku ni terlalu annoying kot bagi dorang kan?so abaikan jela aku buat sekarang ni.sebab dah malas nk dengar cerita aku yang membosankan tu kan?kalau sorg dua je hilang xpe ni semua kot menghilang.kalau2 aku ade buat salah tu tegor jela aku.xyah nak menghilangkan diri.

aku tak sempurna.aku buat silap.aku lalai.aku deserve to know whats going on.kwn lagi ke x aku ngn kau ni sebenarnye?bknnye aku expect kau nak text aku 24 jam tp kalau dah nak masok bape bulan tak betegor dah mcm bukan kawan dah tu namenye.aku pun xlama ade kat msia ni.lagi seminggu aku nak betolak dah kat tanah suci.mcm2 boleh jadi kat sane.so kalau boleh aku nak jmpe semua kawan2 aku sebelum aku berangkat ke sana.tapi kalau harapan aku ni cume tinggal kenangan xpe la.nak buat mcm mane.xde rezeki.

sorry for this offensive entry.i jst couldnt help it.LATER~

dates

i went out with this dude.only 1 of my gf knows about this.i kept it from everyone.haha.cause i know i'll get kill by someone if she knew about it.well i was bored and really need to go out and get to know new people.

this dude here is cool.he's just about the same as me.so yeah i had a great time though.but as usual he used to be a playa.he used to drink and do drugs.so its a major turn off man.cause if u did it before who knew u can strt doing it all over again.unless if u can prove it to me that u're done with it.

especially the playa part.such a major turn off man.and idk why u are so honest to me about it.i respect him for that.for being honest about it.its cool.but maybe we are cool just as friend though.cause yeah i dont want it to be such a big issue when my friends found out.and no no im not gonna tell.u can check out at my facebook if u want.there's nothing u can find there.

but he's cute and have a good sense of style but not the type i usually will fall for.tp boleh nampak la kat muke dia yg dia tu jenis suke pmpn.haha.i can tell.i've known most of this type of guys my whole life.its like they love 1 gal but at the same time they want other gals.if u know what i mean .so yeah im gonna stay single much longer than i expected i guess.im so afraid of this shit hole.seriously?where are all the good guys?sigh. LATER~

dudes

All of sudden being around with guy friends made me feel so much better than being with gal friends. no offence gal friends but reality is gals tend to to get too emotional.getting bored if it dude.but being around with guy friends is another problem which is they tend to get to get too protective of anything i do.

ok recently i've stated that i dont want any realtion but only want dates right?guess what?most of my guy friends were against it.they think im being too dramatic of my past.no dude the thing is im not ready.this dates means i want to get to know someone new.thats it.obviously i'll not going out with a complete stranger.it is dangerous.yeah i know.i appreciate your concern.

i dont call it dates normally i'll call it hang out AKA lepak.it sounds more casual isnt it?i know they think of loads of bad things that will happen to me.but idk isnt having a relation u need to go out and date with someone 1st?isnt it?guy friends is just simiilar of having a big brother cz they kinda act like my brother.i love them for that.but u know how stubborn i am.haha.

see how different it is between guy and gal friends?oh i forgot to state that there are high chances of ur guy friends to have this stupid feelings for u.so beware.its hard to have a relationship with ur own bff though.anything can happen.imagine someone u rely in after all this time disappear just bcz u rejected him.how sad right?there's risk of having both sex as friends though.appreciate their honesty and they'll do the same thing to u.i love all of my friends.LATER~

emily

ok pelik kan?pelik sebab aku tengok cerita melayu on saturday.haha.dah lama aku tak tengok tv.semalam turun nak makan.gurau2 la ngn si mok mok tu jap.sekali akak aku bukak tv3.aku pun layan la.pelakonnye nabila huda ngn adi putra.at 1st ingat cerita ni serious and boring sekali kelaka gile la plak kan?sumpah batu gile.

best plak aku tgk care dorg fall in love tu.muke adi putra bodo gile.buat lawak muke serious.batu betol.rase nk tampa je.haha.haih.mane la nak cari laki perangai cmtu in real life kan?reality check L.this kind of guy is one in a million.guess i've gotta dive to sea to search for it isnt it?haha.

but sometimes it reminded me of someone though.he's almost that perfect but turns out he's a beast inside.such a waste.rugi sebab rupenye dia dah ade yang pilihan di hati.aku pernah bace this one column kat magazine.if u think he's the one for u but he already have a girl in his heart dont even bother to catch him cause u'll make urself look cheap and desperate.uhum.so im backing off like a thousand miles a go.haha.chill laki bukan seorang.aku percaya kite ni di takdirkan oleh yg MAHA ESA dengan seseorang.kite cume perlukan kesabaran.

buat ape perigi mencarik timba kan?buat apa nak jadi desperate and clingy kan?menjatuhkan maruah je.so baik la focus kan kat kepala ni pasal menda lain yg jauh lagi important then laki.yelah mungkin aku ckp mudahla sebab aku tak merasai ape yang korang rase kan?tapi aku dah penah melalui semua tu sebab tu aku berani ckp.its easy to fall in love but its hard to forget about the one u love.i know it felt like.u've gotta be strong to do so.aite? LATER~

kawan lama

dengan tidak berapa nak plan akhirnya dapat juga jumpe membe2 lama.classmate kat college dulu.seronok sgt jumpe mereka.tapi rase macam xpuas je kan?sekejap je lepak.xdapat nak updates semua nye kan?hah macam2 la borak haritu.dari xtau cerita terus aku dapat tau sumpah kelaka la bile belaja dulu.macam2 ragam.haih.

yang dulu single skg dah bf.yang ade bf skg jadi single.kelaka betol.next time kita plan berbuka puasa ramai2 lagi eh?ajak lagi budak lain eh?sumpah rindu oh.lepas tu borak2 pasal convo.20 nov ni convo.3 hari.nanti mesti dpt jmpe semua membe lama.bestnye.hee.LATER~

wow

I didnt know saying sorry could be this easy. i should really push aside my ego.i dreamed about something so weird lately.yesterday i dreamed about my ex BFF.i havent seen them around.maybe its a sign for me to apologize to them also.soon.i need to get use to this at 1st.

lately i've been so tired.im turning 21 soon and theres this dude at this particular restaurant called me "PUAN".i was like hello cant you see that im wearing this super2 ripped off jeans?im too young to get married darn it!i felt so insulted.gahhh.im so mad.do i really look that old?-__-

i really need to quit this job before i end up looking like a grandma next aye?

guess what?i know this dudes both of 'em are pretty okay though.one of 'em is chinese and soon to be pilot.kinda cute too.but he's sort of like me.not very good in communicating.boring.awkward.another one is cute.malay.working.and older.i can see this malay dude is trying his hardest to please me.he text.he call.im not used to this though.ya know texting.then getting scolded if i didnt reply his text.reminded me of someone.

i understand that he wants to show how much he cares but im not buying it.idk why?i always have this thoughts at the 1st stage guys will always show how concern they are.they'll text they'll call kalau boleh every single minutes.right after the next stage (dah couple/almost) they'll be ignoring you and then starts to neglect u or even dont contact with you anymore.so yeah i really hate this stupid phases.i keeps on going on and on and on.so dudes thats why i look or act as if i dont give a damn cz i hate getting attached with someone at the end i'll hurt.sick of it.

all of sudden i remember mama always reminds me.to find a right guy u need to get to know them 1st.dont rush to things.networking is the key to find or to get to know someone.friend with 'em 1st and then evaluate.the most important is they're sincere and religious.oh and also got a job so that i have a bright future.this is what my mama told me.but obviously im not thinking about my "FUTURE" yet.i just want to get to know some people 1st.not a boyfie nor a part time lover.only a friend or a close friend would be enough.excluding friend with benefit aye?till then LATER~

heart

"they call me heartbreaker" "im only gonna break your heart". heard this before?obviously its from taio cruz-break your heart lyrics.the reason why im posting this is cz i want to tell its sort of like me now.im not bragging or being obnoxious about it shit about it but seriiously its a fact.i will only break someones heart cz im not ready for any relationship.

nothings gonna make me change my mind.i will not gonna bring this wall down.i've been through too much.seing my friends and someone close to me got crushed it scares the hell out of me.unless if you're really different i might gonna change my mind.like seriously its hard to find someone who is sincere and loyal nowadays.everyone is playing games.everyone is taking advantages.don lemme start with the malay guys.they are trying so hard to act "cool" by westernizing themselves.such a pity.i think 90% of malay guys have no knowledge of AGAMA, not a virgin, drinks and do drugs.

what happen to the world now?go figured.i guess you cant really blame the media though.idk why they're involved in these things.dont they think about their future?they think its so "cool" for doing all that?why must i accept someone who cant guide me?someone who dont give a damn about his religion?someone who is a sore loser that dont have any educational background?call me choosy if you want but dudes this is important.this criteria is very important to me.i will never open up my heart unless i found someone who fits to this criteria.i think i rather be "andartu" than fallin in and out of love.it hurts like hell. LATER~

changes

i hate it when everytthing changes. i missed everything.everysingle thing.everyone is with their own path now.rarely contact with them now.i missed all of you.i missed sharing all of our laughter together.wish things could be back like normal.i dont know why i really missed all of you.i have only one wish fr my upcoming birthday which is to meet up with all of my friends at once.hmh.please make my wish come true.i dont really ask much only that i want to meet all of you at once.snapping photos together.share our laughter together.sigh. LATER~

chilllis

Yesterday someone offered me to buka puasa at chillis and he'll pay for it of course. then when i woke up this morning i received a text saying that he couldnt make it and have to reschedule. dayum.i was pretty excited yesterday cause i've been craving for chillis like forever.before this my sister promised to take me to chillis but she was busy with her pregnancy and all and after her labor im sure she's pretty broke right now. BUMMER!! i want that chillis jugak i dont care!

so i've decided to go out my besties today cause lately she's been down cause of this one guy.idk why but most of us will cry our arse of just because of A GUY.thats why i dont want any relationship yet.cause im not ready to be all gloomy and sad just because a dude.duh?there's plenty of fish in the sea.or i might say "i just havent met you yet"?haha.im just so worried of her cause she's been talking shit about lotsa stuff.so its better for me to meet her and let her spill everything.

Idk what to eat for berbuka today since my plan of having that lamb shoulder is pretty much doomed so i'd better think of other delish stuff i should eat.haha. LATER

Daniel Kim

This is my new LOVE. He sing so good. He got a great voice http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQVA200FERI

cut cut

I've cut my hair.finally i did.it look so much better now.i love my fringe and hope it give me no trouble to maintain it.haha.FYI i just trimmed it a lil.still the same length though.

anyways,i just realised how thing have changed so drastic after 9 months.most of my friends are living their own world.me and my work others with college and works.then most of them are now happily couple with their new lover.im so happy for them.but im so sorry if i gave u this awkward facial expression when im around you and your partner.im not used of it and i feel awkward about it cause it reminded me of how great it is to have someone to hold hands and be cute with.i missed being with someone for companionship.with or without any relationship.

im so busy with work till i have no time to find anyone or get to know new people.plus i think its such a nuisance for me.at 1st i'll get excited and all and then i'll get bored.they just bore me to death.idk what im looking for.maybe i'm just not ready for it.but i do missed texting someone a good morning text when i woke up.a good night text when im going to sleep.i dont want to bother my friends for that.they have to save their credit to text with their special one.and i dont want to be sounded like a desperate girl who seeks for attention.haha.

im so not okay?im just saying i missed going out for a date.a friendly casual date would be nice.nothing wrong of having this kind of feelings isnt it?besides its not like i want it right this instance.im just saying that it would be nice if it really happens.but still im not ready for any relationship.as far as i've been discovered to find your soulmate it should a good surprise.someone who you dont expect to be with or to fall with.he/she will just suddenly appear in your life with out any notice.this is not my theory but it really happen in true life.seriously do recap of how u and u're ex met.or u and u're current bf/gf met.betol kan?hee.

my point is i just wanna say happy sangat tengok korang dah bahagia.insyaallah akan berkekalan lama.AMIN.

LATER~

happy surprised!

Selamat Hari Jadi yang ke 21 LIYANA'S. Im a brilliant arent I?tak sangka aku nak buat macam ni kat korang kan? hehe. walaupun aku sebok kerja aku ingat gak kat korang. Liyana Shazreen yang tak suke celeb birthday pun happy that day. sorry tak dapat tunaikan impian kau nak makan tiramisu starbucks. bajet lari la. Syafiza Liyana aku berjaya kumpul kan kawan2 rapat kau yang dari PD pun turun tok celeb sama. sorry sebab tak beli hadiah. cuppies tu jela yang mampu. harap korang enjoy celebration yang tak seberapa ni. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. HAPPY BELATED 21st BIRTHDAY.

Browse

After the event my colleagues said they want to window shop a few things at mid valley.so yeah i followed 'em without any complaints even though how much pain my leg is.i was browsing and looking for a high as usual.OMG there's a lot of cheap high cut at mid valley and i think my eyes was widened 12 times than usual.haha.i want to buy one but i aint got any money.grrr.

there's even 50% sale on reebok high cut.darn it.oh dont let me start with zara and mng.season clearance.one thing that i love and hate the most.zara shoes is all in sale.i love the blue peep toe pumps.if only i have that much many.sigh.btw,im in love with roxy fedora.its on sale for 70%.how awesome right?i hate it when im broke there's a lot of good stuff on sale.grrrr.

idk which one should i buy a new pants for work or 3pairs of contact lense?hmh.

LATER~

F

Im sooooooooooo tired.i literally have no rest.my eyes is swollen.my eye bags is getting worst.my back hurts.my feet are killing me.I seriously hate what im doing.i dont know how the others do it man.dont think im gonna last that long.its true what my mom said.even if i sit at home i'll surely get money but still its not enough cz she always take my pocket money and put it in my asb.wtf right?i need it to buy things i want.hello.im 21.brrrr.

Im so stressed up with her nagging to me 24/7.i thought when i start to work it will be less.but no its the same.fine its not the best work in the world and fine i dont get the best salary.but hello i only needed to get a new phone.my goddamn phone is busted.my sister and my mom nags as if im gonna build a career in this company or something.hello marketing is obviously not my forte.why the hell am i doing here wasting my time bursting my arse to work like a effing slave?

if they give me 1.7k per month i will do it without any complaints.i assure you.and i only have 4 colleagues.how sucks right?sometimes i wonder why did i get involved in this shit?gahhhhh.i need something that i can enjoy!!i hate this.FML!later~

plain

I read one of my friends blog about LOVE. she claims that being single and in a relationship both are hard to handle.there are certain things that i agree with her.then she said being single equals to loneliness.we need to do almost everything by our own self.to be true i actually love being this way.u know?being alone.during lunch break.i always eat my lunch alone.yes it may look sad but actually alone time is the best.i feel rilex and also less sins.haha.

I've been so caught up with work and i dont have anytime to ever think about having a new guy in my life.i mean relationship for me is such a nuisance.lets say if i have a boyfie now then im so caught up with work then i have no time at all to spend with him im sure i'll get stressed up and at the end will break up with him.so yeah its such a waste of time right now.thats why i dont have any intention of seeking for a new boyfie.

I'm gonna keep my promise for giving LOVE a long pause for now.btw,having relationship with friends is much harder than a boyfie. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN I STILL WAITING FOR YOUR MONEY.I WILL HUNT YOU TILL YOU PAY WHAT YOU'VE SUPPOSED TO.I DONT CARE WHETHER YOU STILL CONSIDER ME AS YOUR FRIEND OR NOT.IF YOU DONT DONT BOTHER TO BE CALLING ME AS YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE MAN.I DONT LOSE ANYTHING IF U'RE NOT ONE OF MY FRIEND.U'RE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ARSE ANYWAY.I'VE BEEN FAKING IT THE WHOLE TIME.HOW'S THAT?PAIN ISNT IT?WELL IT MY DUST BABY.U'VE MESSING WITH THE WRONG PERSON HERE.I AINT GONNA BE THAT EASY TO BE FOOLED.PFFT.LATER~

OMFG

its been a really long time isnt it? gahhh.i think im the most busiest people ever.can u imagine i have to work 7days a week.the only thing that kept me going is to earn that money to get me a brand new cell phone.if not i'll definitely quit my job.at first i clearly stated that i want to apply for admin position and guess what? they put me in marketing floor.so i've been clueless the whole time.they said its a MUST for me to look for a potential client in a day.at least 16 client.wtf? right? so yeah i've been busting my arse off for this job.

Then i have to go for any event to sell their products.i was in shocked when they told me its a MUST.i was like hello?i thought i applied for an office work not to live a double life here dude?dont ask about my health cause i dont get enough rest. my eyes is swollen and i look almost like a panda now.my whole body is aching.my goodness im so in pain.

I'm mentally and physically exhausted.i dont know when can i have a nice long rest.i've been missing all of my friends.its been so long since we all hangout together.each of us have our own life now.im busy with work.others with classes and work also.how i wish everything were just like old time.where we would constantly meet everyday and laugh like nothing's going to happen.i missed the old times.

Anyhow, i seriously dont know how much longer can i work here.i wish all of my friends will get the job that they've applied at the place that i work.haha.cant imagine working with my friends.it must be fun.well actually how tired u are as long as u're with ur friends then its ok u know?its like having fun while working.haha.aku doakan korg sume dapat.AMIN.LATER~