What I've learned?

I've learned a lot from my past experienced. Especially when it comes to relationship. Wanna know what I've learned? Here's some list...

1. If he's (she) not willing to see you and only you alone the one who is sacrificing then you'd better get a clue.
2. It doesn't mean that if he (she) showed you how much they cares for you that would be a guarantee they would be with you.
3. If his (her) facebook wall is full with opposite sex calling them by names (sayang,baby,b and etc) you better leave before its too late.
4. If he (she) just had an awful broke up don't ever go and rescue them because it is better to leave a broken pieces then trying to fix something that aren't ready to get fix or you'll get yourself broken as well.
5. Don't ever think they would change for you. Its just who they are. Who they're used to be.
6. If he (she) said he (she) is philophobia; fear of being in love. Go run fast! Don't stay and wait yourself to get heart broken.
7. Find out if he (she) is flirtatious or not. If yes then you're in deep trouble. If not then you're good.
8. Ask about his past relationship. What actually happened. Who dumped who? Some people find it hard to talk about their previous relationship if he (she) won't tell then he (she) might not over their past yet. Chances are you're just his (her) rebound. Think wisely.
9. Don't ever cross the line of FRIEND and try to change it to something more than that it might not going to happen and chances are you'll end up to make FRIENDSHIP worst and more complicated. Try to ignore or resist any opportunity to flirt with your FRIEND.
10. If he (she) doesn't want anyone to know about you two then he (she) is not ready to commit in a relationship.

I hope this helps you with your decisions. I could write more but I'm just to lazy to do so. If you want to ask my opinion on what and what not to do you can send me a comment.

LATER~

New semester

1. Introduction to Reporting
2. Feature Writing
3. Political News Analysis 
4. Documentary Theory and Practice
5. Web Journalism
6. Principles of Script writing.

List of subjects for this new semester. Wish me luck guys.

LATER~

Updates

Sorry for being offly quiet. I've been on a rehab. Nahhh. Joking. I was super busy with my life. Now that class will start soon I'll be seriously busy.

I'm working now since my BB is busted. Gotta find a way to earn money. Well its just who I am. If I want something so bad I'll make sure I work hard to get it.

So probably before Hari Raya I'll get my new phone. Insyaallah.

Life was great. July really did me good. I had so much time on July. As all you know I went to Chelsea's game, I've been to World Stage and so on.

I've also managed to forget about him. I've finally moving on. No people. That guy in my facebook is not my new boyfie. He's just my friend. Am still single.

Its too early to start a relationship since now I'm on a new semester. I have to start focusing on my studies I don't want to make the same mistakes I've made like last semester.

I was so depressed and it affected my emotions and I sucked my assignments. Blerghhh. Such a waste. Trust me its not even worth it.

Lessons learned people. Don't let anyone affect you emotionally cause it might get rough.

So yeah work has been great. Its not tough at all. Its just a simple job at a cute boutique on weekend only. I'm aiming to buy curve 3g 9300 and also save some money for my roadtrip. Its about time to finally go on a roadtrip with my besties.

Ok what else? I think that is all for now. LATER~

Result

Well obviously I've received my last semester result. Seriously I'm not proud of it but atleast I didn't fail anything. Gotta say it was super tough. I was doing semester 1 2 and 3 subjects. My result was not bad actually. I should have done better but atleast I've tried. Syukur alhamdulillah.

Double sigh

I never knew it would be this tough. I never knew I would be this heart broken. I've never been this weak before seriously I wouldn't let myself be this weak. This time its different. I can't control myself I can't control my emotions.

I saw him yesterday. I thought I was strong enough to act as if I'm okay. Hell no I was wrong. My heart pounded so fast as if I was running for 400m relay. Clearly at that point I said to myself "I wasn't ready" "I can't do this" "its too soon". Guess what missy? its too late to run away.

My face was turning pale. I was stunned. I can't even look at him. Its so painful every bits of memories just all of sudden haunt me. I wanted to run but I can't. My friends doesn't know how much he has effected me. They didn't know how broken I was. They didn't know how massive the pain I was feeling.

Its sad how we used to so close and yesterday it seems like we're a total stranger. I missed so much. I would die just to hug him for the last time but I don't want to embarrassed myself. I have my pride. I have my ego. Just by listening his voice it tears me apart.

He's so close to me but I feel like we're 10 thousand miles away from each other. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have come. I should have told my friends that it really bothers me. I was okay few days before after yesterday I suddenly became weak again. All the memories came back to me.

Tell me how to forget him. Tell me why is it so hard to get rid of him from my mind? I want to be happy. I know I can but why is it so difficult? Why does I feel suffocated whenever I have him in my mind? I don't know how to describe how broken I am right now. I don't know how to make people understand my situation. I don't have anyone to listen to my stupid stories. I know they will get tired of hearing it. I rather kept it inside me.

I don't know how long will it takes me to recover. Frankly, sometimes I cry myself to sleep whenever the memories haunt me. Especially the last word he said to me. How he ended it just simply by texting me.

Maybe I haven't been my heart broken like this before. Maybe I fallen so bad. When I broke up with my ex of 3 years it isn't this bad. Maybe because I was the one who's living.

I wonder if he knew how broken I was. I wonder if he feels guilty whenever he smiles and I was here trying myself to stand when I was fallen so bad to the ground. I wonder does he feels happy when he went out with other girls while I'm here being so afraid of going out with other guys?sigh.

I know what you're thinking. I need to keep myself together. I need to be strong. I need to let him go. I need to face the reality that he left. I know. How I wish its that simple. How I wish I have that will power to do so. Its killing me inside. Its ripping off my veins.

Dear God, please give me strength to keep me moving forward in my life. I need to stay focus on my future and succeed on my life. I can do this I know I can. I need some moral support but I don't who I can rely on anymore. I don't want to burden my friends cause this is my own mess not theirs. My mess I have to fix it all by myself.

Lessons learned. I have to stay away from him. I have to stop thinking about him. I have to stop having this tiny thoughts that I still have a lil chance for this to happen. It clearly doesn't. I have to make myself busy. I have to be positive and strong like I was before. If I was happy before I met him why can't I be happy when he left? He's not the key to my happiness. I set my own happiness no one does. I can do this. Pray for me people. AMIN.


LATER~