Final

Final is almost over. I'm gonna finish my semester (Thank god).

What am I up to? Nothing much though really nothing is going on I think I've become more and more boring than I used to.

There's of course a boy problem. Always and forever. But I'm just going to ignore it though.

Sometimes I feel I rather be alone than fill myself with this mixed feelings and uncertainty.

I envy those who can find love as simple and easy as it seems but for me its going to be hard.

I ain't whining but really some people can find their replacement for less than a month or so it has been 2 years for me and still haven't find anyone I can be with.

Douchebag? Tell me about it. I've been seeing the same douchebag on and on again till I'm sick of 'em and decided to keep my head on focusing with my studies.

This is the legit prove of me being boring cause in my head there's only study concerns and nothing else.

Idk, I'm not saying that I've given up but prolly at this moment I lose hope. Afraid of getting an attachment and finally ended up with a tears and broken heart.

Maybe in 2 or 3 years time I'll find someone decent but I don't think its that easy to find a decent guy anymore right now. I'm speculating or stereotyping but its just that most of the guys I knew now or previously is nothing but a jerk. Sorry guys but this is fact.

I know that nowadays girls are turning to be one these doucebag but where do you think they got that idea from? Just saying.

Love and feelings its unpredictable. When you find one when you feel one it will come unannounced. I have to control or what so ever on it. But its up to me to explore it or just ignore it. For now I'm in the middle.

Hesitating of whether or not I should explore my feelings or I should just completely ignore it.

Sounds harsh and selfish but its for my own sake. My feelings. I can't afford of facing the same situation again though. It hurts.

Unless until I find someone who can prove to me that they are different and change my believe in falling in love and that they are deserving then I'm sure I will be in love again.

As for now its better for me to learn to love myself like no one else can.

LATER~

RYAN GOSLINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG!!

L.O.V.E

Nope. I haven't get lucky and its has been 2 years already. Accurately? Idk I can't remember prolly almost 3 years? Idk.

So yeah this tight schedule doesn't make me think of getting in love. I don't think I can anymore.

No joke and I don't blame the previous dude who broke my heart into pieces and thank god I've put it back all the pieces together.

Ofcourse sometimes I feel empty and a lil lonely but not in a sad way of lonely. I'm so glad that I have my friends for always been there for me. I mean the real friend not the one who will only find me when they need a favor to ask.

To be frank I have been crushing on this one dude but nothing serious is going on though and some how I feel like its going no where. Its like a dead end all over again.

Am not hoping for anything to happen between me and him but he does makes me happy in a way.

But seriously I can't remember how it feels like to be in love. 2 years has made me nothing but heartless I think? Im not pushing people away from me I'm protecting myself from getting hurt.

Of course there's a saying that said 'Its not love until you can feel the pain'. Pain is not love but it is part of getting in love. Don't blame love for your heartache, love is a beautiful thing and should be cherished. Blame the person you're in love with for getting yourself a heartache.

Its difficult to understand one. Its is no doubt difficult to trust someone you barely knew. But love has twisted everything and making it possible for us to trust, to understand, to live with someone you barely knew.

Remember when you're little and you mother told you not to talk to strangers? and logically it doesn't make sense how you can have feelings towards someone you barely knew or AKA strangers?

Its hard to define it isn't it? its hard to clarify it its hard to justify what love means but some how you know what it is. Your love definition is depends on how you perceive it. As for me I haven't found my love definition yet.

Ofcourse I don't look like I'm sad cause I don't have anyone to be with right now but I have my loved ones as well they are my family and friends. If you're sad that you're so alone then that is not love my friend that is striving for attention.

You're not a loser for not having a couple not that is a harsh labeling and stupid. You shouldn't label anyone as sad loser who leave alone without a lover. You can still be successful although you're alone.

Love is not just about being happy. It takes a lot to love. Like serious a lot and I don't think I'm ready for that yet. As for now I'm comfortable being single. I'm comfortable not having anyone around except my friends and family. I am indeed happy with my life. 

I'm not Crazy but I'm Stupid for Loving you RYAN GOSLING!

Have you seen it? Crazy Stupid Love is just amazing. At first I thought it was just a normal cliche romantic comedy movie but it wasn't.

Of course it is predictable as usual. I love Ryan Gosling!!!! I can't deny that cause I've been obsessing about him for awhile now and yes Emma Stone as the lead actress. Some how she looked a bit different in this movie. Prolly cause of the makeup effect or something.

My favorite part in this movie is when Emma Stone asked Ryan Gosling to take off his shirt. Yes ladies it was a perfection in deed. He's getting buffed than before and also A SEXY BEAST. Sorry for the obscene words. Anyway when Emma Stone saw Ryan's perfect body she said this outrageous funny line "Seriously!? It's like you're photoshopped." LOL! I can't stop laughing every time i saw that particular scene in tumblr.


There's this chic in this movie as the 17 year old baby sitter I can't remember her name but she's from ANTM and I can't remember from which cycle. So anyway, she look so thin like unhealthy thin. She used to be very sexy but idk what happened to her now. Such a waste.


So yeah people go and download this amazing movie. Now I'm gonna get screwed for promoting illegal downloading but what the heck. DOWNLOAD IT NOW! Its like you're in love again.