So yeah I know I've been offly quiet this past few months or weeks. I can't remember. Been busy with my assignments which driving me crazy. I've been posting about this dude right? so we're sort of in the comfort zone for now.
Atleast that's what I think. IDK. ok honestly I've fallen hard for him. Like hardcore hard.I swear to god I've never felt anything like this before. Seriously none.
Cause of that I kinda have this sorta insecure feelings. Sometimes I do think that I'm not quite right for him. Like I'm outta his league. Personally he's considered as a hottie type. Ok please don't vomit after reading this. But its a damn fact cause lotsa hot girl tried to get to know him. Damn right I feel a lil intimidated.
I mean like who am I right? I'm just an average girl in her own lost of fantasy world. She doesn't even talks a lot. Probably the least favorite girl. She's not even girly and swears hell load.
Yeah I know. How stupid may I sound like? But I'm just being frank here though. No judgement please.
Sometimes I'm that insecure. I don't have the confident at all. Sadly I must say people are effecting me by their comments about me. I know I may look a lil fat but that actually tears me down hill. Whenever I look myself in the mirror all I can see is the ugly reflection of me.
IDK where did my confidence go. I used to so poised and ignoring everyone whose condemning me but look what happened now? I don't feel good even when I'm wearing skirt. I rarely wear skirts now.
Maybe this does effects myself. Being too humble and riping out my self esteem somehow makes me feel ugly. Its not his fault to make me feel this way. Its my own fault to make myself think this way.
I think its because I want him so bad that I'm actually hurting myself by tearing my self esteem. Anyway, pray for me that he'll make up his mind and choose me instead of letting me go. Somehow part of me is happy and part of me is anxious.
I'm trying my best to think positive because of the positive responses he gave me. Ya Allah, please help. I want to stop acting like a fool. I hate posting about this but I can't help it and luckily only few knows the existence of my blog. Sigh. If only you knew. So readers please pray for my happiness. Insyaallah. Amin.
~LATER
Atleast that's what I think. IDK. ok honestly I've fallen hard for him. Like hardcore hard.I swear to god I've never felt anything like this before. Seriously none.
Cause of that I kinda have this sorta insecure feelings. Sometimes I do think that I'm not quite right for him. Like I'm outta his league. Personally he's considered as a hottie type. Ok please don't vomit after reading this. But its a damn fact cause lotsa hot girl tried to get to know him. Damn right I feel a lil intimidated.
I mean like who am I right? I'm just an average girl in her own lost of fantasy world. She doesn't even talks a lot. Probably the least favorite girl. She's not even girly and swears hell load.
Yeah I know. How stupid may I sound like? But I'm just being frank here though. No judgement please.
Sometimes I'm that insecure. I don't have the confident at all. Sadly I must say people are effecting me by their comments about me. I know I may look a lil fat but that actually tears me down hill. Whenever I look myself in the mirror all I can see is the ugly reflection of me.
IDK where did my confidence go. I used to so poised and ignoring everyone whose condemning me but look what happened now? I don't feel good even when I'm wearing skirt. I rarely wear skirts now.
Maybe this does effects myself. Being too humble and riping out my self esteem somehow makes me feel ugly. Its not his fault to make me feel this way. Its my own fault to make myself think this way.
I think its because I want him so bad that I'm actually hurting myself by tearing my self esteem. Anyway, pray for me that he'll make up his mind and choose me instead of letting me go. Somehow part of me is happy and part of me is anxious.
I'm trying my best to think positive because of the positive responses he gave me. Ya Allah, please help. I want to stop acting like a fool. I hate posting about this but I can't help it and luckily only few knows the existence of my blog. Sigh. If only you knew. So readers please pray for my happiness. Insyaallah. Amin.
~LATER
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