Untangled

Have you ever feel so empty,
That even the cult on wrist is just painless?

Lately,
I'm feeling empty,
So empty that heartache of mine is in silence.

My screaming heart is no longer whining about pain,
It is filled with winds and emptiness.

The ambience of my heart is not describable,
My emotion is dead.

Sometimes I question myself,
Why am I feeling empty?
I couldn't find the answer.

My days are filled with the derived of wanting to be successful,
I pushed away the possibilities of being happy,

My mind told me to manipulate my heart,
Why?
Because the last time I listened to what my heart desired it screwed me.

Seems legit.

I'm at level where I'm in pain and wanting to cry myself out,
Not a single drop of  tears fallen,
And yes,
My wounded heart is not healed.

The saddest thing about being hurt is when you can't feel anything,
Its as though the has come to and end,
And for that very second you knew your heart dies.

I'm in disguise,
I put on my mask,
I'm wearing my fake smile to put on an illusion of a strong girl.

Deep within this strong girl is dying,
She's screaming but no one can hear.

She doesn't want people to perceived her as weak,
So,
She's bluffing everyone by portraying of how happy and poised she is.

Everyday I pray that everything would change,
I hope that I'll genuinely be happy,
But I knew that it is too good to be true.