valentines day

I had lotsa fun with all of my friends. We went to Delicious, Bangsar Village. Its was 10 of us. Well the original idea was actually doing a bbq like we did last year. But then we decided to change it and go out for dinner instead. Thank you so much to all my part time lovers for a great day. Who needs BF/GF when you have an awesome friends like them? Im so blessed to found all of you.

Later~

Attach

Reason why I hate attachments is bcz once you're used to be with that person in terms of constantly texting and call or whatever you'll feel the attachments. Once that person decided to walk out of your life you'll feel lonely as though part of you have gone. Its not that you missed that person only the company. It feels really sucks to be ditched. Especially when you used to be closed and something happened that you're not that close anymore.


And what sucks the most is to fake every smile and laughter infront of that person you missed the most. It does hurts but there is no used to keeps linger 'em in your memory. Wise man once told me that to have something perfect you have to feel the pain the bitter in life. So I kept telling myself just to go with the flow. If it ain't happening then just wait until the right time comes. Insyaallah.


For time being I'm indeed still afraid of attachments and love. I'm scared of that devastated feelings that might gonna leave a huge scar in part of my life. So I refuse to be flirty and just keep calm although I may showed that I am all flirty deep inside I'm not. There's something inside of me that kept holding me back from just to let loose. If I do I will get hurt bad. What I did was building walls and walls and walls. When the right time comes it will falls down. Hopefully.

LATER~

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Falling

I don't know why i kept falling for the wrong guy. I know its wrong but I kept falling for them. Now I'm trying not to fall for the wrong guy anymore instead just go with the flow. I'm so afraid of that devastated feelings again and again. I just can't afford to feel the pain for gazillion times.

And because of that I tend to ignore any  guys who I know have feelings for me. I don't them to feel how I feel cause I know I will forget to reply their text. I will not return their calls. All of sudden I became someone who is afraid of attachments. I will try my best to avoid it when I know I can give it a try. Now I raise my bar up high because I know how ridiculous it is to get that person I wanted. Maybe one in a million. So I will not fall for anyone cause of these specific things I want them to have.

I used to hate being alone now I think I love being all alone just me empty heart and friends and family. Perhaps someone with awesome magical power could open up my heart for me to accept 'em. As for now I'm comfortable being all alone. With no dates. No flings/scandals. No crushes. Just friends and family.

LATER~