Mai gosh

I don't know is it me or are we getting more and more attached? Ever since that day I can feel that our chemistry is getting stronger.

I always have the urge of wanting you to be around me. Truthfully I'm scared. Still am terrified. I know you are also. Probably I'm the only one who's feeling this way.

I've tried so hard to resist you but I can't. Its hard. Ofcourse I'll be devastated if you ended up leaving me. Who wouldn't? I know how I act as if nothing happened and how I well played my ego around you and others.

When it comes to feelings I'm not good at controlling it. I'm vulnerable. I'm easily tempted with temptation. I know I may be the only one who over thinks about this and it killls me.

Should I just ignore the feelings or I should face it? I'm so confused Ya Allah. Haih.

Later~

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Feel

I don't know why. I don't know how. When I'm around you I feel happy but when you're not around I'll miss you.

When I don't talk to you for a day I'll be all gloomy but when I do you'll color up my days.

Sometimes I do feel afraid of losing you. I don't want to own you but I want you to be around. I like it this way. There's no fuss there's no stupid issues to fight for.

What is this? Why do I feel like this?

Suprisingly I'm happy to be with you. I like it when you take good care of me and concerns about me. How I wish it could be this happy and carefree forever.

I don't know. I don't wish to tie a knot with you nor anyone. Its just that the confusing feelings are disturbing me. I can't stop thinking about you. You're like a parasite in my mind. The 1st thing I woke up I'll think about you.

I'm that attached to you. No kidding. I know the hard consequences I'm gonna face if you decide to leave but I'm willing to take the risk.

I just hope you kinda feel this way also or else I'm making a complete fool of myself again. I'll try to figure out what this feelings are and keep it to myself.

LATER~
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

undescribable

I know I made myself a promise not to attach with anyone but I think I just did. He's always on my mind. He's like a parasite in my head. When he's not around I'll feel like a part of me isn't complete. When he's near me I'll be happy.

You made me wanna be better when I'm around you. Its so strange how comfortable I am with you.

Okay now I sound so cheezy. FYI people IM SO NOT IN LOVE okay? This is not falling in love thing. I just love the accompany and the comfortable feelings when I'm with him.

Clearly he knows my problems with commitments and thank god he's too. So yeah we kinda act like someone who is dating but we're not. I dont know what to call our relationship but there's something more than friends and we're friend at the same time.

We're still trying to figure out where we are heading. Just go with the flow. If he ended up liking someone else I'm fine with it though. Its not like I own him or something. Its up to him to choose anyone he wants.

Fingers crossed that he doesnt found out about my blog or else I'm screwed!! HAHA.

LATER~