So the new year is just around the corner. its in 1 more days. i just realized that i was single during 2009 new year's eve and now its 2010 new year's eve im still single. woah FML.
Throughout this year its been all nothing but shitty. havent been lucky thats how i see it. though it was actually quite adventures for me. i've done things i never thought i would. and ofcourse things i swear i'll never gonna do again.
Never the less 2010 was a complete failure to me. failure to launch. failure to start a new life. failure to sustain my weight and so on. but still am proud of how much i've changed. seriously i've changed this year. maybe because im getting sick of living the unhealthy lifestyle or something.
Well ofcourse i have a new resolution. i'll be lying if i don't. next year i hope to find someone decent who can actually be with me through thick and thin. someone who can make me laugh unconditionally. someone i can be a complete fool of myself with. i hope to get a good grades for my degree. i hope to finally move on and letting go of my past. and of course to find my happiness no matter what my relationship status are.
Being single isnt that bad though. i just need to be around my friends and hopefully they wont be leaving me like my previous friends did. hopefully that we'll be as honest as always. i dunno what my life would be without 'em. so hopefully u're life will be more exciting in 2011 and may ya'll find ur happiness as well. insyaallah.
Have a great new year's eve and Happy new year to all of my readers. LATER~
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Maturity
This year have taught me a lot about maturity. I have yet over come my anger and try not to let it out to the person I'm angry instead just let it be. What my mum have taught me is let other people bitch about you or even do bad things about u but remember not to turn urself like them. This is what maturity is about. Maturity is about being classy not trashy but keep it a lil nasty.
And maturity is about admitting that you're wrong. Throw away your ego and that "I"M ALWAYS RIGHT" attitude. Before I'm as cocky as hell okay? I will shout out to everyone that IDGAFD attitude. I do what I want. I make my own rules. But now as I'm growing older it make me realized that as an adult you have to care. You have to face you consequences. You have to deal with your problem. You have to admit that you're wrong.
Do you how much difference you can make for admitting that you're wrong and apologize? If u don't u should try then u'll feel relieved. I assure u its better than living in denial. And frankly I'm genuinely pissed right now and I know someone or perhaps loads of people are irritated by me as well. I just want to apologize to those whom I've irritated before. Sometimes u can't really control being so annoying nor hurting someone else feelings.
No matter what it is. I hate creating a drama. I hate being blame for something I clearly don't do. I hate hating people. I just want to be someone that is honest without being hypocritical to people. So I'm letting go and moving on with all of that anger I'm dealing with. Shit does happens. People always lie and change. Its hard to trust people even ur own best friend. Insecurity is a nightmare. Love is complicated as always. This is the reality of life and deal with it. Stop whining and complaining about ur life and just live ur life to the fullest. That is what i define maturity is all about.
LATER~
And maturity is about admitting that you're wrong. Throw away your ego and that "I"M ALWAYS RIGHT" attitude. Before I'm as cocky as hell okay? I will shout out to everyone that IDGAFD attitude. I do what I want. I make my own rules. But now as I'm growing older it make me realized that as an adult you have to care. You have to face you consequences. You have to deal with your problem. You have to admit that you're wrong.
Do you how much difference you can make for admitting that you're wrong and apologize? If u don't u should try then u'll feel relieved. I assure u its better than living in denial. And frankly I'm genuinely pissed right now and I know someone or perhaps loads of people are irritated by me as well. I just want to apologize to those whom I've irritated before. Sometimes u can't really control being so annoying nor hurting someone else feelings.
No matter what it is. I hate creating a drama. I hate being blame for something I clearly don't do. I hate hating people. I just want to be someone that is honest without being hypocritical to people. So I'm letting go and moving on with all of that anger I'm dealing with. Shit does happens. People always lie and change. Its hard to trust people even ur own best friend. Insecurity is a nightmare. Love is complicated as always. This is the reality of life and deal with it. Stop whining and complaining about ur life and just live ur life to the fullest. That is what i define maturity is all about.
LATER~
PERASAN
Dengan ini saya mengisytiharkan perang. Nah joking. aku bukan perasan atau bajet.
Menda kalau aku sorang je yang sedar tak pe. ni semua orang dok cakap menda sama dekat aku. aku tengok terus aku bengang. okay aku admit aku nye style mostly aku inspired bila tengok artis or people on the internet.
Tapi yang ni dah melampau la rasanya kalau tiba2 top to toe sama dengan apa aku pakai. bukan nak cakap that style is LYANNA's but still. aku tak kesah if kau suke ke berkenan dengan apa aku pakai fine go ahead. tapi boleh tak? cari identity awak tu sendiri?
Sorry if i sound so mean or something tapi aku memang tak suke orang tiru aku especially the way i dress up. aku suke jadi different. i like being weird i hate being compared to i hate being copied i hate being normal. so please. kalau mereka yang aku maksodkan ni bace ni please give me some air to breathe. im suffocated with all this nonsense. this is an utterly bullshit.
Why the hell do you want to be someone else? u are who u are. find who u are. dont go lingers around and trying ur best to become them. if u admire someone else style ok fine. try to make it as ur own instead of copying it from head to toe. SO NOT COOL. u'll look cheap and pathetic.
Sampai sekarang aku tak paham kenapa perlu jadi orang lain? kenapa obsessed sgt nak jadi lawa? kenapa obsessed sgt nak jadi hip and chic? can't u just be regularly u? what are u trying to prove? saya perlu jadi hot supaya semua orang suka kat saya? saya perlu jadi lawa supaya dapat special attention? apekah? kenapa nak tipu diri sendiri?
Setiap orang ada keunikan dia sendiri. setiap orang ade daya tarikan dia sendiri. setiap org ade insecurities dia sendiri. tak kira laki or pmpn. sama je. kena ke ikot trend semasa? ape keistimewaannye? dpt award ke? ke suke dpt pujian berbakul2? sampai bila nak jadi macam ni?
Tak malu ke ape org ckp? tak malu ke kena panggil copy cat with no identity? ni nasib baik aku tak sound terus je. aku fikir tak nak create a scene je. tapi aku tak boleh nak simpan la. sebab dah melampau sgt dah kali ni. selama ni aku sabar lagi. come on la. jadi diri kau sendiri. find ur own inspiration find ur own self by not reflecting so much on the cycle of ur friends.
Serious shit aku bgg sampai aku rase nak buang semua outfit2 yang kau suke tiru aku tu. aku rase nak pakai bikini dengan seluar pendek je bila keluar lepas ni. jgn cabar kemarahan aku. ni kira aku bersikap classy lagi sb aku sound kat blog and status fb aku. kalau tak lain dah cerita nya nanti.
SO BITCHES STOP STEALING MY LOOK AND GET YOUR OWN. SAPA MAKAN BABI DIA LA TERASA HARAMNYA. LATER~
Menda kalau aku sorang je yang sedar tak pe. ni semua orang dok cakap menda sama dekat aku. aku tengok terus aku bengang. okay aku admit aku nye style mostly aku inspired bila tengok artis or people on the internet.
Tapi yang ni dah melampau la rasanya kalau tiba2 top to toe sama dengan apa aku pakai. bukan nak cakap that style is LYANNA's but still. aku tak kesah if kau suke ke berkenan dengan apa aku pakai fine go ahead. tapi boleh tak? cari identity awak tu sendiri?
Sorry if i sound so mean or something tapi aku memang tak suke orang tiru aku especially the way i dress up. aku suke jadi different. i like being weird i hate being compared to i hate being copied i hate being normal. so please. kalau mereka yang aku maksodkan ni bace ni please give me some air to breathe. im suffocated with all this nonsense. this is an utterly bullshit.
Why the hell do you want to be someone else? u are who u are. find who u are. dont go lingers around and trying ur best to become them. if u admire someone else style ok fine. try to make it as ur own instead of copying it from head to toe. SO NOT COOL. u'll look cheap and pathetic.
Sampai sekarang aku tak paham kenapa perlu jadi orang lain? kenapa obsessed sgt nak jadi lawa? kenapa obsessed sgt nak jadi hip and chic? can't u just be regularly u? what are u trying to prove? saya perlu jadi hot supaya semua orang suka kat saya? saya perlu jadi lawa supaya dapat special attention? apekah? kenapa nak tipu diri sendiri?
Setiap orang ada keunikan dia sendiri. setiap orang ade daya tarikan dia sendiri. setiap org ade insecurities dia sendiri. tak kira laki or pmpn. sama je. kena ke ikot trend semasa? ape keistimewaannye? dpt award ke? ke suke dpt pujian berbakul2? sampai bila nak jadi macam ni?
Tak malu ke ape org ckp? tak malu ke kena panggil copy cat with no identity? ni nasib baik aku tak sound terus je. aku fikir tak nak create a scene je. tapi aku tak boleh nak simpan la. sebab dah melampau sgt dah kali ni. selama ni aku sabar lagi. come on la. jadi diri kau sendiri. find ur own inspiration find ur own self by not reflecting so much on the cycle of ur friends.
Serious shit aku bgg sampai aku rase nak buang semua outfit2 yang kau suke tiru aku tu. aku rase nak pakai bikini dengan seluar pendek je bila keluar lepas ni. jgn cabar kemarahan aku. ni kira aku bersikap classy lagi sb aku sound kat blog and status fb aku. kalau tak lain dah cerita nya nanti.
SO BITCHES STOP STEALING MY LOOK AND GET YOUR OWN. SAPA MAKAN BABI DIA LA TERASA HARAMNYA. LATER~
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