dream

I dont know what have got into me today.i woke up at 5pm.awesome right?but it was the worst cause i dream about someone i shouldnt.i can't believe it.after all this time this was the 1st time i dream about you.maybe cause of that song i heard that reminded me of you.and how guilty i am for doing all that to you.maybe thats why i dream about you.so okay i admit it i miss our moments together but i never miss you.i couldnt bare to think all the bitter memories we had.its killing me.maybe this had made me think of why i'm afraid of commitments.why its been so hard for me to accept someone new in my life.how hard it is for me to break down this wall.you're a dude its easy for you to find someone new.

i have a complicated family that always wanting more from me.i need to find someone who can wow them.thats why i've been selective now.i mean im done with the new guy and then after a few months we break up and then new guy and then break up again.its like a never ending love story you know?.frankly i dont have anyone i want or waiting.its so weird to feel like this but i like it.im so free.so anyway im not depressed or anything i just cant believe he showed up in my dream.dude so not cool.perhaps tonight lemme dream about jared leto or chace crawford will cha?haha.

so anyway,yesterday i have this talk with my close friend.i was asking her about her status at facebook which she claims to be liking someone.she was like "yeah someone its no biggie".then i asked her about my other close friends.most of my friends posted something about this feelings towards someone.so it was kinda weird you know.i mean one of us had actually a real boyfriend so maybe its contagious this love thingy.sorang fallen another one will then another and another.and yes like what they all said and predicted i'll be last one who will fall in love again.cause i've hit a rock bottom before so yeah i'll be the last.but im happy for them to finally moving on.hope it will stay this way though.to see my friends happy is the best feeling ever. =) LATER~