I thought I'm strong enough to face this alone. Day by day its eating me alive. I can't seems to get him off my mind. He even appeared in my dreams. Ofcourse I still love him.
Feelings is one thing I can't control. I want it to fade but the memories reminds me of how great things were. I know I shouldn't be this way. I've no control of it. I don't want to remember but it keeps popping to my mind.
Every place we've been before, everything we did together I can't seems to get off it my mind. Knowing you're dying to get over me is ripping me off.
I mean why? Why did you let me go if you know you're feeling the same way. Why are you so afraid? Why can't you just give it a chance? Why are you being such a coward. You're a man for god sakes. You got balls you shouldn't be that low.
It kills me to have thoughts of "what if I found out you've got a new girl". Frankly, I'll be torn into million pieces. I'll be strong if you stay single but once I know you've found someone new I swear to god it'll effect me. I might be grieving over it for years. I won't contact you at all.
Yes I know I'm weak. Shocking right how much this guy have impact me? I know how strange it is for reading my post like this. I'm just human. This is beyond my control and expectation. I'm not prepared for this.
I might be down for months or probably years. I know there's a saying that "if its meant to be it will meant to be eventually". I don't believe in that crap. I'm so mad at my self for falling this hard. I should have known. I should have listen to my instinct instead of being so logical and emotional.
Seriously I hate this. I hate this process of shattering broken heart disease. Ain't gonna tell any of my friends cause I don't think anyone would understand and I don't want anyone to have a wrong perception towards him. It is my own fault for involving into this mess. I was so ego and thought I can live with this pain. I'm so vulnerable.
Ya Allah, please help me. I just want to forget everything. I just want to be happy. I hate putting a fake smile while inside I'm dying. I hate crying alone at night when I remember all of our memories. I hate knowing fact that things will never gonna be the same again between me and him. I hate knowing that its not me besides him right now. Give me strength to face all of this pain. I know I have to move on. Give me ways to find peace and be calm.
LATER~
Feelings is one thing I can't control. I want it to fade but the memories reminds me of how great things were. I know I shouldn't be this way. I've no control of it. I don't want to remember but it keeps popping to my mind.
Every place we've been before, everything we did together I can't seems to get off it my mind. Knowing you're dying to get over me is ripping me off.
I mean why? Why did you let me go if you know you're feeling the same way. Why are you so afraid? Why can't you just give it a chance? Why are you being such a coward. You're a man for god sakes. You got balls you shouldn't be that low.
It kills me to have thoughts of "what if I found out you've got a new girl". Frankly, I'll be torn into million pieces. I'll be strong if you stay single but once I know you've found someone new I swear to god it'll effect me. I might be grieving over it for years. I won't contact you at all.
Yes I know I'm weak. Shocking right how much this guy have impact me? I know how strange it is for reading my post like this. I'm just human. This is beyond my control and expectation. I'm not prepared for this.
I might be down for months or probably years. I know there's a saying that "if its meant to be it will meant to be eventually". I don't believe in that crap. I'm so mad at my self for falling this hard. I should have known. I should have listen to my instinct instead of being so logical and emotional.
Seriously I hate this. I hate this process of shattering broken heart disease. Ain't gonna tell any of my friends cause I don't think anyone would understand and I don't want anyone to have a wrong perception towards him. It is my own fault for involving into this mess. I was so ego and thought I can live with this pain. I'm so vulnerable.
Ya Allah, please help me. I just want to forget everything. I just want to be happy. I hate putting a fake smile while inside I'm dying. I hate crying alone at night when I remember all of our memories. I hate knowing fact that things will never gonna be the same again between me and him. I hate knowing that its not me besides him right now. Give me strength to face all of this pain. I know I have to move on. Give me ways to find peace and be calm.
LATER~
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