Faith

We all went through the difficulties of trying to find the right one. we all went through the phase of being too cautious all the time when it come about love. yes I know I've been repeating the same shit about love and how bullshit it is. come think of it who don't want to get hurt? how can you really know if he or she is just playing games with you? how can you really know that you're falling for the wrong guy? and why can't you accept the one who truly cares and love you for who you are? why must it be so complicated? trust me I can't find any of the answer yet. I like to observe and try to actually understand people but i really fail to actually find the answer of what I'm questioning and afraid of.

I can really understand someone without them telling me what they have been going through. trust me I don't know where I got this from. but when it comes to someone I like I really don't have a clue of who this person is. I cant read them. yes I'm sick of seeing this same type of jerk. but I know many have told me that I shouldn't stop finding and lose faith on love. I'm trying my best to actually like and have a commitment with someone. I kinda have this stupid feeling of being afraid to have commitments with someone cause ya know? being too attached to someone can really turns out to be a total disaster when he or she decided to actually leave you. I didn't know how it feels actually of being dump by someone until i met this guy that I used to blog around early of 2010. after what he did to me it really gets me though. I've learn my lesson of actually appreciate someone and stop wanting more.

After seeing my best friend being stood up by one of my friend I became even more paranoid than before. I started to be so stereotypical. I've told my self that every guy is just the same and none of them wants me for who I am all they can ever think is something to pleasure them self. I've encourage my best friend of actually trusting someone and now she's being so brutal about streotypical guy thing. after seeing her like that and after being all alone after this past few days i had lots of thinking. I shouldn't stop trying. I shouldn't be so stereotype about guy. I shouldn't be afraid of actually finding the one. how can I know if he's the one if I didn't even try. I shouldn't be so paranoid. I should be more positive. life is an ass after all. what I'm trying to say is we can't be sure if that relationship is gonna last even if we're married. even if you're married to someone for 30 years if its not gonna work you'll get divorce after all isn't it?

So best friend if you're reading this don't lose your faith. I know how hard it is for you. I feel the same way. I've been stood up 4 times this year. I've been shedding tons off tears before. but hey this is the process of being mature and adult is. being strong and stop complaining. we just have to keep on trying and learn from it. our prince charming ain't gonna magically appear himself if we didn't try honey. don't be afraid of being hurt. don't you realize being hurt and all this painfull bitter experience actually helps us to be stronger and mature. Allah loves us and that's why we've been dealing this matter for lotsa time. everything happens for a reason. stay positive and pray to Allah that one fine day we will find our prince charming. so don't be afraid of trying even if its not gonna work for a gazillion time its ok consider it as a something for us to learn to be a better person. Insyaallah we will have our happy ending. LATER~