hi im insecure

I know this might sound silly but it really hits me that i feel fat after being being brutally criticized by people around me. yes i know i'm getting a lil fat here and there. dude come on? i've been doing nothing for almost a year. give me a break. i know that you think its funny to call me by names and all but did it occurs to you that i might really feel sad after wards? yes i'm smiling and laughing while you're making me the big fat joke but really? don't you think about how i feel? its been frustrating year for me to actually keeping up with being skinny and i fail to cause of the lust i have towards foods. i love foods so what? there's even someone who told me that i might be prettier if i'm skinny. WTF is your problem? its not like i'm going obes or something? dude if you want to live in denial and this so called cruel world go ahead and be my guess. but you don't have to call me fat. im 5'6 and i'm 59kg. so WTF is your problem? 59kg and with that height is actually normal. and its an ideal weight.

for god sake why are people being so obsessed with wanting to be skinny? i'm  furious because you're making me feel fat and not pleasant with who i am. yes jokes can be really hurtful if you actually mean it without noticing it. so what if i don't have that tall slender body of a model? im still a human being arent i? and i deserve to be happy with having a curvy body isnt it?come on people. stop criticizing about other people being fat or push yourself to starve just to be skinny. i'm having this thoughts of actually to starve my self so that people would stop making fun of my big chubby legs. but as i think about it its just a waste of time who am i kidding? why am i giving other people the satisfaction? this is just who i am. if you ain't like me being curvy so be it. go ahead and live with your crappy shallow mind and being fake. i want to be happy and not starving my self. i want to enjoy the taste of good food and to all of you suckers you can go on with your stupid diet. i'm happy with my own body dumb ass. pfft. LATER~