I can't stop writing about him. and yes can't stop thinking about him. you may ignore this post though. but seriously i don't what took him so long to ask me out. i gave him hints and all but he just laughed and i kinda feel insulted by it. i know that he's interested but maybe he's just not ready to go out with me. i think. HAHA. pathetic isn't it? well as usual i don't know who to tell so blogger got me back for this. maybe i should just slow it down now. not to think about it that much. focus my mind on something else. if its happen then it will. so just chill then. on 2nd thought its not like i want any relationship with him so why should i be such a clutz about this right?
Oh and fyi i still am frighten about this commitment thingy. i found this terms (PHILOPHOBIA)-the fear of falling or being in love. and i was like hey thats exactly how i feel. see its not that i don't want to move on i do but its hard to actually build that trust. i'm not afraid of rejection but i'm afraid of getting hurt. then i'm afraid of facing the same problem which is controlling issue. he'll start to tell me what to do and what not. i can't handle that again. i'll ended up to get annoyed and leave him for sure. so for now i'm okay with a relationship with out being exclusive. not attached by anyone. i know im weird. but this is what i choose. being casual is great. its like having a long period of time to get to know someone closer. well beats me i hate old fashion couple though for me its boring. being apart away from your partner is actually a good thing. i actually hate texting call every single seconds. so yeah i might putting my bar up high this time. but i think i might found someone who is in the same page as i do. i hope its true though.
LATER~
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