Truth is

Bukan nye nak jadi kejam tapi betol la perasaan mmg tak boleh di paksa kan? ade someone ni dia suke kat aku tapi aku anggap dia as a good friend je. nak kate aku flirt kat dia aku tak de pulak flirt. dah kalau aku mencarot semua bagai kat dia tak kan aku flirt pulak? the thing is dia mmg tak pernah bagi tahu aku tapi aku boleh nmpk la betapa obviousnye dia suke aku. siap buat caption mengundang. status pun mengundang. aku kenal dia mula2 mmg la banyak borak and aku mmg suke dgr masalah orang. dah dia ade masalah aku dengar jela. mungkin itu membuat dia confuse kot? niat aku nak meringankan beban dia bukan untuk memikat dia secara halus. mungkin dia dah tersalah tafsir. tapi aku kalau boleh tak nak kehilangan dia as a friend. he's a good friend. walaupun dia sengal kan? tapi nak ade perasaan kat orang yang aku dah anggap as a good friend ni susah la. lagi pun aku sekarang ni dah tersuke kat orang lain. bile once aku dah suke kat orang tu selagi tak jadi ape2 tahi ke ape aku tak kan berubah fikiran. bajet loyal la kan?tapi mmg tula hakikatnye.

aku xtau nak cakap macam mane kat dia yang aku anggap dia not more than a friend and i hope that he's okay with us just being a friend. aku tak nak jadi kejam tibe tibe je hilang and elak dari dia. its not good i know. but kalau aku keep on layan chat ngan dia takot dia fikir there's a chance. S told me that i should start to tell him about other guys. especially about the dude that i like. but really its hard cause i dont really like to share about my personal with others except for my besties. cause of the comfort zone. aduh. dilemma nye bila dah macam ni. sebab aku tau dia confuse dengan niat baik aku nak meringankan beban dia. maybe dia tak pernah jumpe someone yang dia leh luahkan semua menda so timbul perasaan suke tu. tapi aku dah clearly ckp "dude, i can be your girl best friend".bukan nye GIRLFRIEND. cause i do believe that every guy should really have a girl best friend who he can share almost everything about. sigh. maybe he was weak and thought he need more companion than a friendship. should i tell him straight to his face that i already know how he feels towards me that i dont feel the same and we should just stay being a good friend? or i should just shut up and slow things down with him and when he finally open up his mouth then only i tell him about everything? shit im in dilemma. susahnye nak jage hati orang ni.

then ade lagi sorang kawan aku ni tibe tibe confess dia suke kat aku. mmg aku act cool je tapi sebenarnye aku nak pengsan. hello? ade awek kot? awek dia tau tak ke mampos aku? dia ni pun sebabnye aku mendengar masalah dia jugak. adeyh. i should stop care about people that much la i think. my kindness di salah anggap pulak nanti. lepas tu orang lain yang sakit hati aku yang blur2 ape salah aku. padahal aku tak tau pun dia suke aku tau tau je hold grudge kat aku nanti kan? mmg naya la. why november why? kenape bulan ni bulan confession? sigh. tak boleh ke laki ngan pempuan tu jadi kawan sahaja and not more than that? penat la aku kena carik kawan gay je. kawan gay asyik nak backstab je lagi menyampah. bile nak kawan laki nanti ade confusion pulak feelings dorang. kenapa perlu dia jadi complicated? menda simple je kot? once you're declare as a good mate you can't have a strong feelings for them. kalau setakat crush mule mule tu normal jela cause once you get to know someone a lil more and know their true color you'll start to judge and accept them for who they are. i find my girl friends are pretty adorable sometimes. most of them are. but i dont have a feelings for them kan? it would be wrong betol tak? regardless of their gender once you're a friend then you are just a friend. unless both of you flirts then you can't consider it as a good friend anymore. why would one jeopardize their friendship for something they know that will not lead to anywhere?

so conclusion is friendship is more important that your confusion heart. ok mengarot. tapi ade betolnye di situ. fikirkan la ape yang aku cakap tadi. kite ade otak boleh fikir baik buruk sesuatu benda. boleh fikir worth it or tak benda yang kita nak buat tu. kalau anda yang aku dah cite kat blog ni terbace blog ni harap maaf sebab terpaksa luahkan kat sini. my friends are all busy with their problems and i have no where else to lean on to except my blog. okay then. LATER~